The 18th is mine and Steve's month anniversary. We always do a special date, among other dates during the month. Duh, you'd go on dates with your significant other as much as possible, right?
Well, Sunday is the 18th. The closest thing was a date on saturday but...he has work. I found out...today. After not being able to talk to him for three days due to the fact that his phone went capute.
And you know, it wouldn't be that big of a deal if we'd have gone on a date recently. But the last date we went on was on...October 18th. And maybe that would fly in some relationships. But that is never how ours has been. And I know that he is busy with work, he always has been. Is not like the business has increased. So I don't understand what on earth is happening to my relationship. The only times that I have seen him this past month have been on Sundays where we go to church with each other, or on Wednesday mornings when we make waffles for the institute students.
But we don't do Wednesdays anymore. And we haven't gone on a date in a month. And he went three days without talking to me, and that was even with me sending Facebook messages to him. You know the horrible thing about Facebook? It tells you when someone has read the message that you sent them. He read them, just didn't reply. And he didn't tell me that he has work Saturday night until I asked him, since he got his new phone today.
I can't remember the last time he told me he loves me. And I honestly- HONESTLY- cannot remember the last time that I felt good about my relationship with him. Sometime in between six and seven months, something changed.
I just want to shake him, ask him if he realizes how much I am hurting, how I nearly cry when I text him saying "I love you" and he responds with a smiley face or "that was random but thank you" what on earth does he think that does to me? After nine months, you'd like my own boyfriend would know, any man with a brain should KNOW that when a woman says I love you, and you feel the same, you say it back to her. "I love you too."
I dunno, Marcy. I've tried to talk to him about it, and its always "well Ashlynne, you know I'm busy." "I'm tired, babe. You should just go home now. No, I know it's nine. You know my work schedule." "That's random...but thank you." "No. I dont think I'll be able to make it by your house to say good bye to Mitch before he leaves."
Even though he left on a Wednesday morning, later than you would get up to help me with waffles, the firs t week we stopped making them, and after a night of playing dungeons and dragons with your friends.
What the hell.
hmmm you know honestly it sounds like he's distancing myself, and to be completely honest ashlynne. I think that is good thing. I know you hate it, I know that's not how you function in relationships. I know it kills you a little inside. But you just need to learn to let it go. It's going to suck. And you're not going to like it one bit, but it needs to happen. You know it does. And I know you're just frustrated with the current situation and you think you should just be able to talk to your boyfriend, but things do need to change.
ReplyDeletehave you ever gotten this far in a relationship (I sure as heck havent) I think the nature of relationships over time do change. Not to say it will be bad or it will always be like this. but you have been together a really long time. things are suppose to change. if they didn't your relationship would literally be meaningless and a pointless waste of your time.
Now, don't believe that makes me think it's alright, the way he's doing it. I understand sometimes not responding or just chilling away for a bit. but thank you? that's not okay on any level. if someone went out with me and they said that that might actually be okay, because they'd know me and know I say crap like that all the time hahah. but no. this is you. he knows that's not okay. not with you. and it will never be.
Another one of those, you really don't need my advice and probably don't want it but I'm going to give it to you anyway (sorry). Seriously. let it go just a little. I know you're like marcy, it's me, and this is important, and yes it is. but just let it go just a little. I'm not saying adopt my blase attitude (no, please don't, that be really stupid of you) it's going to take time, but this is something that you need to get used to. I'm sorry that it's this way, I really am. but you need to adapt sooner rather than later you're going to become a puddle on the floor. and I really don't want my best friend to become a puddle.