I'm Trying so Hard

Marcy...
I am trying so hard to be happy, and to be positive, and to keep going, keep pushing, keep trying to do everything that I have piled onto my plate that I honestly thought I could handle. I thought that I could do school and work full time and Institute Council and my calling in Primary, and still be able to go on a date with my boyfriend, do my homework, read Harry Potter, and somehow be able to get at least five hours of sleep at night.
But I can't. I just cannot do it anymore. I never see anyone that I care about, and when I do see them, I'm so tired and frazzled and stressed that I don't enjoy the moments that I have with them. I skip class to do things for Institute Council, and I skip things for Institute Council to go to class or do homework. I try and do homework at work, and then get frustrated when the phone rings because it's disturbing my thought process when I nearly understood that math problem.
And then I never ever want to be at home, because unlike your situation where it's so quiet at home all the time, there is never a peaceful moment at my house. My mom being frustrated with Mitchell for not doing scripture study, my dad trying to talk to my mom about modifying the budget, Vanessa being a terrorist, and my Grandma...Marcy she is the WORST. She is on top of all of us for everything that we do wrong, like is just the perfect human being.
And yesterday, we found out that we are in fact keeping Vanessa longer than we had planned. It was going to be that we were going to resign it all this coming July 1st. But financially...my dad just told us that we can't make it without her. Which sounds horrible, I know it does. But we just...can't do it without her income.
I found this out first from my mom, as did Mitchell and my Grandma. And then later last night, my dad sat the three of us down to further explain the reasoning behind it. When he was done, he said "does anyone have a comment, or anything to say?"
Grandma: "I'll go last. I have plenty to say."

Marcy, once she said this, I just couldn't take it. I couldn't. Earlier that night, I talked to the Institute council president, Brendan, and told him that I can't do Council anymore. I signed up for my classes for next semester, and they're all hard. And there's five of them. That's the most I've ever taken at once. He assured me that he appreciates what I've done, and blah blah.
But I feel like a failure. Like I signed up for something, and now I can't, and becuase I resigned, that means I've done a half-assed (sorry...) job. And I hate that. I feel cowardly for quitting, and I was already having a bad day. And I have just been trying SO HARD to do it all, and I canNOT.

So I said "No, I have no comment. And I don't really want to stick around to hear anything else." And I stood up and started to leave the room.
And my Grandma...my Grandma. She stands up and says "You are JUST like your mother. You don't want to face any hardship that comes, you SHOULD go out and live in the real world. You're PATHETIC."

I am nearly crying right now. That hurt to the core, Marcy. She is constantly talking down on everyone, but especially my mother. Saying she doesn't do anything, that she abuses my dad, and that she is a horrible person. And while I do think that she could improve in some areas, I don't agree with my Grandma.
I don't want you to think that you can't come here anymore, let's keep that plan alive. I just...needed to tell someone how I feel right now. I'm trying to FREAKING hard to do everything that I'm supposed to. And then, when I try and fix my heavy load, and even though it made me feel like a failure, I did it and even after that, for a few moments, I tried to stay positive. And then MY GRANDMA told me that I'm pathetic and avoid hardships.
My heart hurts.