I hate this part of the semester. This is the part of the semester when I realize how much of a failure I am. And its sad, because I always blame other things, like I'm not smart or I dont get math but truth is I'm a slacker. I know I'm smart, not a genius, no, but I'm smarter then this. I could get straight A's if I tried, but thing is I don't. And I don't know why, but I can't bring myself to stop. My English teacher told me today I'm one of the most talent writers she had in the class and the my writing was so charming... but I needed to turn my work in. I think I'm getting a C, hopefully, she gives me a B-. I could have an A soo easily, but know, I'm dumb and I procrastinate, and waste my life. I don't know why... I just do. Now I'm in my Math 50 for the second time and my chances that I'll take it a third time or higher then I like. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being this way. Maybe this is the way an alcoholic feels when they can't stop drinking. I know that seems extreme but that's how it feels. It's practically programmed in me. I really need to get my act together. I always say that. But it never happens...
~Marcy Elaine
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Seriously.
Don't you LOVE those moments when you just look at yourself and you're just like.... DANG! I look GOOD!
I've been feeling pretty gorgeous all night. And it feels fabulous.
I blame a haircut and new mascara haha.
~ Marcy Elaine
I've been feeling pretty gorgeous all night. And it feels fabulous.
I blame a haircut and new mascara haha.
~ Marcy Elaine
Ugh
Cracked the screen on my phone yesterday big time.
Might have to wait a few paychecks for those aviators. Will keep you posted.
:'(
Might have to wait a few paychecks for those aviators. Will keep you posted.
:'(
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Today is a Lovely Day
Today is a lovely day for something wonderful to happen.
This morning, my squoosh received the Melchezidik priesthood. He's been working SO HARD for it, to be worthy of it. And this morning at 8:30, he got it.
Yesterday, at about 11:45, he texted me, feeling really down on himself. He told me that he didn't feel like he was enough; enough for the gospel, for his family, for his job, for me...he was just feeling extremely inadequit. And he just does that sometimes, he's always looking at the things he does wrong, instead of the things he does right, because he wants to fix the wrong things. But then he never sees the good things he does. So while trying to tell him that yes, he is enough, I just...started to cry.
Now I was at work. You DON'T just randomly start crying when you're the only girl at work, and every guy there is looking for a reason to tease you. And at first, I couldn't even pinpoint the reason that I was crying. And then it hit me. That the only time I cry is when I am feeling sorrow for someone that I care about. Remember the time that you cried in 8th grade, the day before Garret left for his mission? I went home and cried about it, becuase I didn't like that you were so sad and I couldn't do one single THING about it; I couldn't make him stay. I was helpless, and I'm not used to not being able to solve someone's problem.
I can't do a thing about Steve feeling down on himself. No matter how many sweet nothings I tell, no matter how many love notes I can write, no matter what I do, he is the only one that can work on that one. And it just made me so sad...that he was so sad.
As I write this I feel like it's just so simple, of course I'm sad when he's sad. But really, think about it...sorry for the mush, but I care about him SO MUCH, that when he is sad, I am feeling those same emotions. He was overjoyed this morning, as was I, because it is so GOOD to see him that way. And he has tried to hard, and he finally got it. I dunno Marc, I guess it's just hitting me, with these two experiences so close together, how much I just love that boy. He's my best friend. That, ya know, is a fantastic kisser. But he's my BEST. FRIEND. And next to you, of course :)
-Ashlynne Rose
This morning, my squoosh received the Melchezidik priesthood. He's been working SO HARD for it, to be worthy of it. And this morning at 8:30, he got it.
Yesterday, at about 11:45, he texted me, feeling really down on himself. He told me that he didn't feel like he was enough; enough for the gospel, for his family, for his job, for me...he was just feeling extremely inadequit. And he just does that sometimes, he's always looking at the things he does wrong, instead of the things he does right, because he wants to fix the wrong things. But then he never sees the good things he does. So while trying to tell him that yes, he is enough, I just...started to cry.
Now I was at work. You DON'T just randomly start crying when you're the only girl at work, and every guy there is looking for a reason to tease you. And at first, I couldn't even pinpoint the reason that I was crying. And then it hit me. That the only time I cry is when I am feeling sorrow for someone that I care about. Remember the time that you cried in 8th grade, the day before Garret left for his mission? I went home and cried about it, becuase I didn't like that you were so sad and I couldn't do one single THING about it; I couldn't make him stay. I was helpless, and I'm not used to not being able to solve someone's problem.
I can't do a thing about Steve feeling down on himself. No matter how many sweet nothings I tell, no matter how many love notes I can write, no matter what I do, he is the only one that can work on that one. And it just made me so sad...that he was so sad.
As I write this I feel like it's just so simple, of course I'm sad when he's sad. But really, think about it...sorry for the mush, but I care about him SO MUCH, that when he is sad, I am feeling those same emotions. He was overjoyed this morning, as was I, because it is so GOOD to see him that way. And he has tried to hard, and he finally got it. I dunno Marc, I guess it's just hitting me, with these two experiences so close together, how much I just love that boy. He's my best friend. That, ya know, is a fantastic kisser. But he's my BEST. FRIEND. And next to you, of course :)
-Ashlynne Rose
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